The flight attendant watched her do this and asked to see her ticket. She then told the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she would have to sit in the back.
The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Houston and I’m staying right here.”
The flight attendant went into the cockpit and told the pilot and the co-pilot that there’s a blonde sitting in the first class that belongs in economy and won’t move back to her seat.
The co-pilot went back to the blonde and tried to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat..
The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Houston and I’m staying right here.”
The co-pilot told the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who wouldn’t listen to reason.
The pilot said, “You say she’s a blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.”
He went back to the blonde and whispered in her ear, and she said, “Oh, I’m sorry.” She got up and went back to her seat in economy.
The flight attendant and co-pilot were amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.
I told her, “First class isn’t going to Houston.”
*******
“Back in my home you would have to hide, they love the light hair... and I like those pants.” my Egyptian coworker commented one day I finally decided to “let my hair down” so-to-speak.
While traditionally wearing my hair in a bobby-pinned cluster of spirals on the back of my head, my hair is a surprisingly lighter shade of pale when let down- going from a deceiving dishwater colored blonde to exposing my sun-bleached sandy blonde shades which have grown out from the previous summer. This is not be confused with my sister’s or grandmother’s strawberry blonde hair, my towhead roommate, my ash blonde mother, or my once-platinum blond brother and father.
Additionally, we are not to be confused with such “blonde trends” and the San Fernando Valley Girls of L.A., the Chavs or Sloane Rangers found in Britain, the Ganguros and Kogals found in Japan, Itay’s Paninaros, and various other globally-grouped bimbos, yuppies, bottlehead blondes or preps. Some feel we can be more or less grouped together in a mass worldwide hodge-podge of highly sought after individual beauties - and that’s just the females.
In reality, looking past all the international fair-haired wannabes and leaving the hydrogen peroxide and bleach in the bottles from whence their gloriously fake and gaudy highlights are produced, the true blondes only exist in 1.8% of the population. Others are, simply put, little more than jealous brunette imposters who more often than not give us “real” blondes a bad name.
While first originating as heroines in European folklore and fairy tales, in the Western cultures of today blondes not only look down upon us as less intelligent than our dark-haired counterparts, but we are ambushed with false rumors and jealous lies. Such blonde “imposters” strive to label the true-Scandinavian blooded people as scatter-brained, flirty, sometimes downright raunchy, and of course: stupider beyond imagination.
Prime examples of “fake” blondes in action:
- Marilyn Monroe- White house blonde bimbo with the perfect body and plenty of legs to spread. “Happy Birthday Mr. President”...
-Anna Nicole Smith - Bimbo, big boobs, money sucking parasitic show of self-destruction in the public’s face. She flaunted every ounce the whole way down...
-Pamela Anderson - No true blonde would ever resort to being a mere lifeguard guys, we get degrees and run corporations and businesses.
-Dolly Parton- again with the boobs...she even sings the song “Dumb Blonde”
-Courtney Love - please don’t even go there.
And these women are but a mere handful of the worldwide stereotypical credit the true blondes just trying to make it to the weekend have to struggle against. We didn’t suffer for years through the Nordic winters and lack of sunlight for that kind of abuse.
Over 10,000 years ago in Northern Europe food was scarce and the nomadic men followed the herds in the most hazardous winter conditions imaginable. As a result, the death rate among the male population was much higher than that of the female population- therefore the men left had their pick of the litter. Blonde, being a recessive trait and therefore much rarer (at this point of time) in the north was more “exotic”, and more appealing. When given their choice of mates, the blondes won out, producing many gorgeous pale-haired babies. These babies eventually overtook the population, and dispersed their traits downwards and overseas as humans began to migrate and relocate.
What can I say? Gentlemen prefer blondes.
They did then, for their exotic appeal, and they do now. Why is that? Today, it is not so much an exotic appeal, as anyone with a kitchen sink can lighten their hair. So what are the driving motivations behind wanting to be and have a blonde in one’s life? Research has been done on this very topic and offers a simple explanation. Young children, as many other mammals, are often born with lighter hair than they grow in later on in life. Therefore, lighter-haired adults often evoke parent-like feelings of protection and affection within others. The attraction to be with a blonde is similar to love one might have for their child. This underlying childlike appeal can also attribute to Western Civilization’s stereotype of the “dumb blonde.” Just as darker skinned people were once naive to the white settler’s ways in the new world and referred to as “childlike” by Christopher Columbus and Captain Cook alike, so too have blondes been cast in that negative light. Although it may be more of an unconscious prejudice when directed towards blondes, both races have been traditionally labeled as less intelligent than the majority of the population.
The blonde Spice Girl? Baby Spice. The only blonde out of the group gets the “little kid” persona, and therefore the “dumb blonde” stereotype. She could never have been sporty, sexy, scary, or posh; instead she was blonde.
Regardless of the reasons behind the attraction, and as far as evolution is concerned, the blondes won out up north and the brunettes simply can’t stand it. Historically throughout the world brunettes have attempted to emulate the flaxen hair of their northern counterparts. In Rome women used to buy light wigs made from the light hair of Celtic and Germanic women. The Vikings who had darker hair traditionally bleached their hair to a blonde or lighter reddish color using a caustic soap in the attempt to match the other women. Today, women in the Western culture like to use similar caustic bleaching solutions to reproduce the look. As convincing as some of these imposters may look, true blondes don’t have hair that glows a bright fluorescent color when put under a black light.
In 2002, blondes were not only being attacked by stereotypes, they were also being attacked by one of the most scientifically absurd media hoaxes falsely reported. Allegedly, the World Health Organization (WHO) put out a report that blonde hair “would become extinct by the year 2202 with the exception of a few secluded areas in Finland.
However dumb blondes are supposed to be, to see right through this hoax was only a matter of comprehending simple genetic coding to understand the impossibility of such a report being issued.
According to the Hardy-Weinberg Principle in genetics, under normal global mating patterns within the human species, the possibility of blondes becoming extinct is virtually improbable. It takes only one generation of random mating to set the proportion of genotypes of an organism’s gene locuses at a specific rate of equilibrium rate in a population. That includes three parts, the number of alleles at the locus, the frequency of the alleles at that locus, as well as the frequency of the genotypes at that locus.
Ok, so here’s the scientific analysis of the blonde genetic breakdown:
(p+q)2 = p2 + 2pq + q2
“p” represents the frequency of one gene in a population’s gene pool, and “q” is the frequency of its single allele. Therefore, p+q= 1.
So p2 = the homozygous fraction of the population for p, q2 = the homozygous fraction of the population for q. 2pq= the heterozygous fraction of the population.
We can make the blonde population a little larger than 1.8% for the purpose of demonstrating the principle. Say, the world’s population of blondes is 20% and the brunette population is 80%.
(B= Brunette, b= blonde)
An extremely simply punnett square can be used to show this:
-----------B (p) ----b(q)
---B(p)-- BB(p2) ----Bb(pq)
--b(q) ---Bb(pq) ---bb(q2)
OR
------------B (.8) ----b(.2)
B (.8) ---BB (.64) --Bb (.32)
b (.2)--- Bb (.32) ---bb (.04)
B (.8) ---BB (.64) --Bb (.32)
b (.2)--- Bb (.32) ---bb (.04)
Therefore: 64% homozygous for BB brunette, 32% heterozygous for Bb brunette with recessive blonde trait, and 4% homozygous for bb blonde.
96% population= brunette
4% population=blonde
So, that’s a very small blonde population compared to those wannabe-brunettes... but are the blondes in danger of being depleted entirely?
Nope, because after just one generation of random mating in a large enough population (such as the world’s population...) the exact initial situation was replicated:
All the gametes formed by BB brunettes will contain one B allele, as well as half of the heterozygous Bb brunettes. That’s (.64 + .5*.32)= 80%.
All the gametes formed by bb blondes will contain one b allele, as well as half of the heterozygous Bb brunettes. That’s (.04 + .5*.32)= 20%.
The heterozygous population ensures that each generation henceforth will remain equalized as long as the basic requirements for the principle remain stable .
The key factor in the Hardy-Weinberg principle is equilibrium. A particular equilibrium value will be achieved accordingly in a randomly mating population when, after one generation, the genotype frequencies at a single gene locus become fixed. Those frequencies are then represented as a function of allele frequencies at the locus. In this case, the alleles = hair color.
For this equilibrium to hold true in a population, several factors must be met within the reproducing population: the organisms must reproduce by either monoecious or dioecious means (dioecious in our case), they populations must have distinctly separate generations, and must be diploid. Ideally, they must have random mating patterns, they must have a population large enough to adequately depreciate the repercussions of genetic drift.
It can be argued that three factors: natural selection, mutation, and migration, could potentially throw off the population’s balance to eventually render blondes extinct. This is ridiculous because although some of these circumstances may occur in certain portions of the human population, it is always resolved in the knowledge that they will simply affect the allele frequencies and not random mating.
However, there exist three mating factors which can very well render the Hardy-Weinberg principle false. A small population size can cause a random change in the genetic regularities- genetic drift. Overall, because the world’s population is massive, we don’t have to worry about that. Assortative mating will cause genes to become homozygous, yet even if brunettes only mated with brunettes, redheads only mated with redheads, etc...blondes would only mate with blondes- therefore still existing. The last option is inbreeding- and again this is impossible when considering the world’s population size. Not everyone lives in the Blue Ridge Mountains.
As hopeful as darker-haired beings were, I think I’ve proved my point.
Nevertheless, both the Canadian Press as well as BBC News reported the hoax as being fact. It took an investiagation by The New York Times to reveal the truth behind the initial fraudulent reports.
The WHO issued their own clarification on the report:
http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/statements/statement05/en/
“ ‘Clarification of erroneous news reports indicating WHO genetic research on hair colour’
1 October 2002 -- In response to recent media reports citing an alleged World Health Organization (WHO) study predicting the extinction of the naturally blonde hair gene, WHO wishes to clarify that it has never conducted research on this subject. Nor, to the best of its knowledge, has WHO issued a report predicting that natural blondes are likely to be extinct by 2202. WHO has no knowledge of how these news reports originated but would like to stress that we have no opinion on the future existence of blondes.”
1 October 2002 -- In response to recent media reports citing an alleged World Health Organization (WHO) study predicting the extinction of the naturally blonde hair gene, WHO wishes to clarify that it has never conducted research on this subject. Nor, to the best of its knowledge, has WHO issued a report predicting that natural blondes are likely to be extinct by 2202. WHO has no knowledge of how these news reports originated but would like to stress that we have no opinion on the future existence of blondes.”
The hoax died out following the NYT story and the WHO’s confirmation of a fake report issuance. Four years later the hoax reappeared in the Sunday Times as well as La Republica. This time around it spurred little more than Stephen Colbert calling for a selective breeding program to save the blondes.
Globally, the “dumb blonde” jokes are rumored to have emerged in Roman and Greek times when the majority of the world-power’s population had dark hair. The Europeans to their north were less advanced, barbaric - and had lighter hair.
In the U.S. in particular, the dumb blonde joke has evolved from its “sinful” roots in the Puritan’s eyes. The association between blondes and sin were laid again by the wannabe brunettes. By dyeing their hair to get a lighter, more attractive color, blondes were associated with this ungodly act leading also to the use of makeup and eventual prostitution. Until the 1920s the Puritans banned women from bleaching their hair for these very connections.
Being jealous wives, “blondes” prostituting themselves as mistresses were dubbed “dumb” in an effort to feel better about their unfaithful husbands. It couldn’t be their failing marriages that were driving these men into blonde arms. It was the “stupid” blondes and their easiness, their seducing ways, their sexual appeal. And of course, the unfaithful husbands won’t argue the dumb-blonde point with their wives: they have an emotional need to be smarter than their arm candy, just as the wives have the need to be better in any way possible than these husband-stealing bimbos.
Appearing in the 1920s were such works as Anita Loos’ Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (later immortalized in 1953 by a not-really-so-blonde Monroe) and Sinclair Lewis’ Main Street, featuring derogatory comment towards blondes. Social attitudes towards the blonde could be found in such classic tunes as “When A Blonde Makes Up Her Mind”, “The Big Blond Mamma”, “Dumb Dora”, and “How Is the Blonde in Wheeling” which refers to, yet again, the unfaithful husband- this time in the form of a traveling salesman. “Dumb Dora” was in fact the name of the Chic Young’s cartoon strip which later turned into “Blondie.”
Here is where the three separate depictions of blonde typing really comes into play. They are separated into two categories: the lightheaded-dizzy blonde, the “good girl” and of course the blonde as a tramp, a vamp, and a vixen.
Dumb Blonde: Joan Blondell, “Blonde Crazy” (1931), Judy Holliday, “Born Yesterday”(1950); Betty Hutton “The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek”(1944); Jean Arthur “The More the Merrier” (1943).
Goody-Girl Blonde: Mary Pickford; Doris Day
Blonde Bombshell: Jean Harlow, “Platinum Blonde”(1931); Marlene Dietrich, “Blonde Venus”(1932); Mae West, “I’m No Angel”(1933)
*the term “blonde bombshell” was actually coined from Jean Harlow’s film “Bombshell”(1933). The epitome of all blondeness came about in America’s favorite sex kitten, Marilyn Monroe.
The all-time mother-of-them-all dumb blondes (being beat to the man by the smart and cutesy brunette) Jean Hagen as Lina Lamont “Singin’ in the Rain” (1952).
“What’s wrong with the way I talk?! What the big idea?! Am I dumb of somethin’?!”
England does their own twist on the “dumb blonde” jokes, referring to their trashy stiletto-heeled Essex Girls who became just as popular there in the late 1980s as Alicia Silverstone made the “Like, as if....” Valley Girls of the 1990s with the infamous Clueless. Frank Zappa managed to cement this particular image with his “Valley Girl” song he performed with his daughter, Moon Unit Zappa - as if a movie wasn’t bad enough, now blondes were being represented by someone named after a storage receptacle in outer space. We can thank her for such great and necessary additional dialogue in the English language as “Grody to the max” and “Gag me with a spoon.” No brunette in their right mind would ever use that language, I’m sure.
The Global Fake-Blonde Terminology Run-Down
Essex girls: (England) Estuary English accents, slutty, loud and vulgar, trashy nightclubs, peroxide hair
Chav: (England) gold jewelry, “designer” clothing -such as Burberry patterns-, ignorant, unintelligent, lack of societal respect, sports-like clothing - sweats and tracksuits- , delinquents.
Gangaru: (Japan) - newer term with more extreme characteristics - “Yamanba”- in direct conflict with traditional ideas of Japanese feminine beauty, deep tan, heavy eye makeup, false eyelashes, platforms, brightly colored outfits, extremely short minis, lightly dyed hair.
Kogal: (Japan)- similar to Gangaru, but not to be confused: then differences? Income and designer name brands. This is the Japanese “school girl” look, still with the dyed blonde hair. The Kogals are the Valley Girls and the Gangarus are the southern Missouri trailer trash- no one can manage to cover their body parts.
Paninaro: (Italy) - although the look was diffused throughout Europe in the 1980s, it was most prevalent in it’s place of birth, Milan. Their obsessions with fashion are, like the Kogals, most easily compared to the Valley Girls of L.A.. However, instead of Frank Zappa, these Italians were immortalized by the Pet Shop Boys.
Sloane Rangers: (West London) - these are the very upper-class population, combining the “Sloane Square” of London’s fashionable and wealthy with the “Lone Ranger”. Usually, the term is referring to women, the most famous of them of course being Lady Diana Spencer. The male counterparts are often called “Hooray Henries”. Pampered, proper, prim, and spoiled they are beautiful, rich, and they know it and flaunt it. Her sons carry on this traditionally neatly and cleanly today still. They would never say “toilet” but rather “lavatory” or “loo.” Quite.
BCBG: (France)- the French version of the Sloane Rangers, “BCBG” stands for “bon chic bon genre”.
Preppies/Yuppies (USA)- “Young Urban Professionals”, used to describe a group of people labeled as selfish, materialistic, and superficial in the U.S. These are the popped-collared, fake-tanned, blonde-highlighted popular cheerleading girls you hated in highschool.
And to think, as a natural blonde I had pale skin, straight A’s, hand-me-down clothing, kept quiet and always had my hair pinned back. Whatever was I thinking?
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